Saying Goodbye to Old Mindsets and Outdated Habits

How Self-Reflection, Courage, and Balance Helped Me Grow Closer to My Calling

In life, we are all moving toward something whether that’s building a career, nurturing a family, growing a business, becoming the best version of ourselves, or perhaps a combination of these things.

Our dreams often begin in childhood, like tiny seeds planted in our hearts. As we grow older, those seeds become trees that (hopefully) bear fruit and contribute something meaningful to the world around us. That process looks different for everyone.

For me, I knew from a young age what I wanted to do. But knowing wasn’t enough. Along the way, I realized I had developed habits and mindsets that were quietly sabotaging my growth. I also realized that if I didn’t let go of these mindsets and habits, I would forever be chasing an illusion.

I had a problem! Change terrified me. I liked routine, familiarity, and predictability. But deep down, I knew that staying in my comfort zone was keeping me stuck. Yet every time a new opportunity came my way, I somehow found a way to sabotage it sometimes without even realizing it.

The turning point came when I decided to involve others in my fears. I started telling my husband, sister, or another close relative about the new challenges I was taking on. Just saying it out loud made the situation feel less overwhelming.Bit by bit, this helped me embrace uncomfortable situations. Now, change no longer paralyzes me; it stretches me.

Because change terrified me, I also struggled with self-reflection and asking for feedback. We all know that the goal of self-reflection and feedback is to change things that don’t work. I used to move from project to project without ever pausing to ask: “What did I do well? What can I do better?” Without reflection, growth becomes almost accidental.

Eventually, I made it a habit to schedule regular reflection moments. I asked colleagues, supervisors, and even family members for honest feedback. Their insights helped me grow in ways I couldn’t see on my own.

Now, I reflect with a coach. I’m not yet where I want to be, but I’m moving toward my destiny with more clarity and confidence.

For a long time, I also viewed feedback as criticism. I took it personally and often became defensive. But I’ve come to understand that feedback is a gift, not a threat. It’s not an attack on who I am; it’s a tool to help me grow into who I’m meant to be.

One thing that really helped me was asking for written feedback. It gave me space to process it calmly, reflect, and revisit it later.

Another assumption I believed was that people would notice my potential without me saying a word. I thought I just had to work hard. But I learned the hard way: you don’t get if you don’t ask.

If you don’t speak up, share your ideas, or express your needs, people may never know what you’re capable of or if you need a hand on your journey.

It was uncomfortable at first, but I pushed myself to be more assertive. And surprisingly, I discovered that people actually appreciate clarity and honesty. It created stronger connections and more opportunities.

But more opportunities made it difficult to set priorities. I often felt overwhelmed not because I had too much to do, but because I didn’t know what to do first. Because I didn’t set priorities, I would do so many different things that didn’t lead me toward my goals, but just kept me busy. Learning to identify my “must-do’s” versus “nice-to-do’s” made a huge difference. I also started using planning tools and time blocks to structure my days more intentionally. It didn’t make life perfect, but it gave me peace of mind.

I used to call myself a “master multitasker.” But the truth? I was constantly switching between tasks, tabs, and thoughts, which left me feeling scattered and drained.

After a lot of research during my studies and work, I realized multitasking isn’t a superpower—it’s a productivity killer. It disrupts focus, memory, and efficiency.

Now, I work in focused blocks, mute notifications when needed, and take short breaks to reset my mind. The difference is incredible: I get more done with less stress.

At the moment, I’m working on creating more balance between my work and personal life. So this is still a work in progress. I’m what you might call a “work enthusiast.” I love what I do, which is great, but it also means I tend to pour everything into work, leaving little time or energy for the rest of life.

I’ve also realized that I found it hard to ask for help and was very hard on myself because I was perfectionistic and always wanted to do everything right. I put others before myself, and I’m still working on this. It says something about my self-worth that I sacrificed my own happiness for others. I’ve gotten better at making myself a priority.

I now know that if I want to achieve my goals and my dream of owning a care estate, I have to say goodbye to these mindsets and beliefs. I have to let go of old habits, perfectionism, and patterns of overextending myself.

Growth doesn’t happen by accident. It happens when we’re honest with ourselves, open to change, and build habits that serve the future we envision. I’m still growing. Still learning. Still becoming. But by sharing my journey, I hope you feel less alone in yours.

What small habit could you shift this week that might lead to big growth over time?