Starting over but not from scratch.
Updated: 2 days ago
This blog post feels a little vulnerable to share. Maybe because we’re in a season of life where so much is changing. A season where a chapter that was such a big part of our lives has come to an end.
I don’t have all the words for how that feels yet. But I am grateful for where we are in life right now, and I wanted to share that.
We closed our family home. It still feels like a strange sentence to write.
For us, running a family home was never just a task. It was our life. It became part of our days, our choices, and who we have become over the past few years.
So much happened within those walls. Beautiful moments, difficult moments, conversations, lessons, and milestones. Children who came into our lives and eventually moved on. Things we will never forget.
And now, it is over.
Sometimes it still feels a little unreal. Not because we don’t stand behind our decision, but because something that was such a big part of our everyday life is suddenly no longer part of our daily reality.
For now, we are staying in the same house. And honestly, I’m glad we are.
The house is still familiar, and from here we will continue working on our community projects and the things we have built through our organization. So there is a lot that has stayed the same, but there is also a lot that has changed.
I’m only now realizing that we have been busy for years. There was always someone who needed something, something that needed to be arranged, or a situation that needed our attention.
We kept going, even during times when we really didn’t have much left to give.
Looking back, I realize that I often forgot to take care of myself. And maybe ... no, not maybe. I neglected myself.That’s a difficult thing to admit.I think I became so used to taking care of others that I didn’t always realize how much it was asking of me. Now that the constant responsibility of caring for others is no longer there, I’m realizing how much I need rest. Time. Recovery.And that is something I really want to focus on now.
It’s not because we don’t have dreams or plans. We definitely do.But I don’t want to decide what the next few years should look like while I’m still exhausted. I want to feel more like myself again first.And I think God is teaching me something through this. That I don’t have to carry everything. That I’m not responsible for everything, and that I don’t always have to be the one who keeps going. That might be one of the hardest things for me to admit. I’m used to looking ahead. Making plans and thinking about what needs to happen next. But this season is asking something different from me. Just… to do nothing for a while.
For now, I mostly want to look back on our time with the family home with gratitude.
It brought us so much. We experienced and learned so much along the way. Not everything was easy, but it shaped us and enriched our lives.And saying goodbye to something that has been such a big part of your life is allowed to be difficult. We don’t have to pretend that it isn’t.We can be grateful for everything these years have brought us and still feel sad that they are over.We can feel relieved and at the same time look back on everything that happened.Those feelings can exist alongside each other.
At the same time, there is also room for new memories.We are still here. We have each other, our family, our network, our projects, and our everyday life. So we are not starting from scratch. It just looks different now.
Maybe you recognize a little of yourself in this. Maybe you’re also in a season where something has come to an end, and you’re not quite sure what comes next.Then I want to remind you that you don’t have to know everything right away. Sometimes you just need to pause for a moment, process what has happened, and give yourself time to breathe again.That’s what I’m trying to do right now. And maybe, for now, that is enough.
It’s important to take a moment to pause and reflect on the changes in your life. To give yourself time to process what has happened and understand what these changes mean for you. You don’t have to know what the next step is right away. Give yourself time to process, to recover, and to rediscover what feels right for you. And remember that you’re not alone in this journey. There is always room for growth, for new things, and for healing. Maybe this is the beginning of a new chapter. Not because everything has to start over, but because you can continue to grow from everything you’ve been through.
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